Sensi Star Burning: My True Clarity

What I want

2008-06-23T18:23:00.001-07:00

I have been constantly ask this recently. I know what I want, but I always pause, and stutter on the answer.

My true answer if I let my words slip:

I like you. I really do. And I hope that we can reach far.

What I want from life is pretty simple: I want companionship. Yes, I may at times mention a job that I will be happy. Having more money is just to get things faster. Overall, I want someone who I can love and who will love me back. That, to me, is the purpose we breathe on earth. Nothing else.

What... again

2008-06-19T08:40:00.000-07:00

What is the purpose of life? What do you want for life? What do you see for the future? Oh gosh. I kind of dislike those questions. I would not say hate, because it makes me think about the future. But giving the answer is the stress part. Well just on my side to make sure that my answer is clear, while my mind is just a little bit cloudy.

Just a bit...

2008-06-10T13:57:00.000-07:00

I am just a bit emotional these days. Just a little bit. So these days I listening to songs that speaks about relationships, and about connections... hmm, sexual and whatnot.

Me likey:

Jahiem - Never

Jahiem - Looking 4 Luv

J. Holiday - Pimp in me

Jagged Edge - What's It Like To Be In Love

Raphael Saadiq - Ask of you

Musiq - Whoknows

*Added*

I really like The Dream. I like the song Nikki. Now listen to one the have with Rihanna. Can not remember the title at the moment.

Just to ease my mind

2008-06-10T09:39:00.000-07:00

I understand relationships. I understand the point behind union and envy some couples. The ones that look like genuine love. I am in this thing right now that I don't even want to give a title. We are just going with the flow but under what title. We were suppose to be just friends ... *yea, i heard that in a song* ... but we have cross out some friends lines.

Random out of the way thought:

Does chocolate really give you the same feelings as sex, or is it being in love?
Cause personally, chocolate does absolutely nothing for me.

Added:

I am an ice cream baby. So, no chocolate for me. Me love me ice cream. lol.

Yuh know...

2008-05-23T19:44:00.000-07:00

It is strange feeling when I re-read past thoughts. Because I got the feeling out, I can not even remember how I was feeling at that time. That is good.

Yuh know...

2008-05-23T19:28:00.000-07:00

I love to kiss, but I dunno about the licking the ear thing. Lol. I glad that you like me so much to stick your tongue in my ear, but what de hell you getting from that. It aint really doing me anything. Lol. Just wetting up my ears. Lol

*Added*

G, he loves to lick ears.

It is yours to keep

2008-05-23T19:22:00.000-07:00

I can understand why a person would have secrets. I, myself, would have my secrets. I have no problem sharing though. I just choosy with what I am sharing. The best person that can keep a secret is yourself. The secret can never slip unless it set free from your lips.

However, I do not like to know people business before they tell. Seriously, if a person did not tell me something, I do not believe the hearsay, until that person tells me for themselves. I would not even hint to them unless information is coming from different sources.

Locked

2008-05-20T15:26:00.000-07:00

I am in a locked state. The key isn't lost, but I don't know where to find. In time my mental will be back to where it was. Time and music, I will regain.

I am content with my life. I know that some things take time, and I have no problem waiting. I hate to rush and be rush. I am thinking generally about people these days. How some people what everything their way, no questions asked about the other person consideration. That is a nasty way to be.

I am still living by my goal for life: to have a simple life that I am pleased with. At the end of the day, I have to make sure I am happy. Even if I have my problems, it is mines to carry alone. Probably why I locked down my expression for so long. To a point that I can not even recall my original reason for my locked state.

Linking from a past thought

2008-05-19T14:13:00.000-07:00

From my last post, I am still at a stand-still. Literally, I kept my thoughts within me, let it cloud my thoughts when I am alone. I did not want to express myself nor did I try. I punish myself for some reason, I don't know.

However, as much I did not want to express myself, I have been listening to music constantly.

Much have not changed, at least that is what I think.

I liked a guy named J.

It have a guy name G that likes me very much.

I am still working.

Hoping soon to enrolled in school again.

Here and Present

2008-05-14T14:13:00.000-07:00

Well, at least somewhat present. I am on auto-pilot for some months now. Maybe even close to a year. I am in cloud presently, trying to understand what is life. The reasons for the ups and the downs. The reasons for lost of close friends. Just to understand and make peace with my thoughts. I am being haunted by thoughts that would not leave me.